Sunday, January 08, 2006
Decisions Decisions
I've just received an email informing me that I've been selected for the EXCHANGE PROGRAM:):):) I'll be enrolling in AUSTRALIA NATIONAL UNIVERSITY if i accept the offer.. The deadline will be this coming Tuesday (SOOO FAST?!) but PROBLEM is.. My mum is going back on her words............. We had a tiff yesterday over this issue.. She cited alot of reasons forbidding me to go.. Den she'll always uses the last resort i.e. Financial strain to make me feel guilty.. She has been harping on this issue ever since she knew about the approval.. It's not that i din let her noe bout my decision to go for SEP like last min.. I've let her know about this idea even before i enter NUS cos she forbidded me to study overseas for my tertiary education.. and when i was signing up for SEP, she relented after much persuasion and was helping me to look for accomodation and stuff lidat..(but deep inside her.. she tot that such application won't get approved tt easily so she was just accommodating me!) Initially i tot I've gotten her support finally den i went to do research bout the program and spent days typing my proposal to apply for it.. Den when i told her about the approval yesterday.. her face expression changed.. she started saying how selfish i'm and i dun seem to understand her feelings anymore and stuff lidat.. EVEN when i go out shopping she'll call me and try to dissuade me.. ARGHHHH... Pls la.. i'll only be 3.5 months away.. it's not 3.5 YEARS!
Anyway.. my mother aside, Me myself is quite uncertain bout the SEP too.. not cos i'm getting cold feet bout it (Well.. i do admit that i belong to the more dependent type of girl~) but it's cos of the location.. The uni is situated in Canberra, Australia's capital (voted the most bOooring place in Australia..) haha~~ i dun wanna be stuck in a boring place with no friends and stuff.. and this will be the first time i'll be abroad ALL alone and i've to learn to settle my problems all ALONE there i.e. Accommodation, Food, Books, Transport and all that stuff.. My mum cant accompany me there also cos she got a phobia of flights (i noe it sounds stupid..) and she dun wanna spend the extra money on air tickets too.. yup.. so of cos' i'll be a lil worried and scared la.. I cant just run back to home as and when i feel upset or lonely cos it'll be a 4 hour flight away.. So i called the 'well travelled' Clara yesterday to discuss about it.. She told me the place is really quite boring but i should go for it cos it's Once-In-A-Lifetime experience and it'll reflect well in my Certificate.. On top of that she said that Australia National University is the top university in the whole of Australia and admission is tough.. so she said that i'm VERY lucky to get enrolled in that school cos it's very prestigious.. and somemore the school only accepts like 3 or 4 students from NUS only.. and she said that there's always a FIRST time for everyone.. No doubt that u'll feel lost for the first week but after u make friends, things will gradually improve... I've been wanting to try an independent living for a short while since a LONG long time ago.. it's not tt i dun love my HOME.. I love and cant bear to leave my family, my country, my friends and of cos LES.. but i noe after i forgo this opportunity, i'll not get such a chance again.. I'll just graduate and work in this country.. cos Graduation will mark the end of my education life.. i dun tink i'll pursue any Honors/Masters degree.. so this will really be the last chance for me.. I dunno la.. I REALLY DON'T KNOW.. i really need advice right now tho the FINAL decision lies with me.. I emailed the co'ordinator for a later deadline so that i've more time to tink bout it.. So for those who reads my blog, pls tag an advice k? cos' I'm really in a dilemma
*JiN*
slept soundly at
11:29 AM
